I'm back, after almost a month away. September was a rollercoaster month and I just couldn't deal with the thought of blogging. I didn't exercise, I didn't make great food choices, I just DID NOT care.
On September 11th my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. Seven days later he passed away. And in between was my wedding anniversary. See the rollercoaster?
I was happy and excited to celebrate being married to my best friend. His health is always a concern and we never take our time together for granted. He took a week of vacation time to be with me and planned out several fun things for us to do.
I was upset and scared about my Dad's cancer. We took a trip to visit with him. I was happy to see him and sad knowing that it was probably going to be the last time.
I felt guilty for being happy about my anniversary when the situation was bleek. I felt guilty for being sad when we were celebrating our marriage.
It's hard to have these conflicting emotions.
I'm starting to settle down and get back to feeling like me again. I'm ready for October and a fresh start. Stay tuned for more September updates coming soon.
I am so sorry for your loss sarah. You have had quite a month. Take your time, don't rush back in.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteOh no! I'm so sorry about your dad. And I totally get your conflicting emotions and appreciate how much you don't take your marriage for granted. Hang in there...again, my condolences for your loss.
ReplyDeleteThank you Shelley.
DeleteIm sorry to hear about your dad, that is rough. Dont blame you for being gone. Do what you have to and take care of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I'm starting to feel normal again.
DeleteI was wondering where you were. I am so sorry about your dad. Please don't feel guilty about being happy about your anniversary. Feeling sad about one thing does not mean you can't feel happy about something else, or that you don't honor your father's memory. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words.
DeleteDon't worry about the rollercoaster of emotions. Absolutely normal!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about your father. I don't care how old you are, there are no words to describe losing a parent. (thank heavens you DO have a wonderful husband to hold your hand through the tough times!)
Congrats on the wedding anniversary.