Maybe I haven't found my groove yet. Maybe I'm being lazy. Maybe I put too much in the planner. Maybe I set my goals too high. Maybe I'm expecting too much of myself. Maybe I just have a bad attitude and need to suck it up and get things done.
This week I have been struggling with (I don't want to say a lack of motivation. I'm totally motivated and inspired. My "want" power is strong.) lets say being positive.
The negative voices are saying "what's the point?" Ive been trying to lose weight for two years and I'm still in the 170's where I started. R does not want me on a "diet". He's all for being more active and drinking more water. He's very supportive in that department. But because for so many years I was borderline anorexic and lived on 600-800 calories a day, he is very aware of what and how much I eat. It doesn't help that I'm a picky eater and hate most vegetables. It makes it extremely hard to consume a decent meal. All these hurdles have me wondering this week if it's worth it to be so obsessively concerned with steps, miles, calories, and that darn number on the scale. I hate being this weight! I want to lose! I want to see results, not just bounce up and down in a five pound range! It's so hard!
My bad attitude doesn't stop with the weight loss issue. This week I'm wondering why I feel it necessary to scrub the toilets every day. Is it healthy to wipe the kitchen counters with a bleach cleaner twice a day? Do the windows really need cleaned every month of the year? Is anyone going to notice if I don't empty the cabinets and wipe them with that bleach cleaner every month? And how many people move the stove, refrigerator and dishwasher to clean under them every three months?
Realistically I know the answer to all these questions. I also know, that yes, I feel it necessary to do this type of cleaning along with so many other detailed cleaning tasks. But this week I'm just not feeling it.
And shall we talk about hobbies? Hobbies are supposed to be fun and relaxing. But this week, I feel like I've had to force even the smallest amount of time making very little progress on my projects. I set a big goal for my cross stitch this year and it breaks down to about 2.5 hours a day. I haven't picked it up at all this week and that leaves me feeling like a failure.
There is plenty of time in my day. If I work on hobbies for 2-3 hours, clean for 1-2 hours and go for a 30-60 minute walk every day that still leaves 2 hours (in an 8 hour "work" day) to do whatever. Not to mention all the evening hours and weekends! So why can't I get things done?
Maybe I'm being lazy. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe it's a bad attitude. And maybe it's just one of those weeks?
If you've been doing this kind of schedule for a long time, then you are probably just having one of those weeks. I don't think any kind of disaster would happen if you relaxed your cleaning schedule, but hey, do what makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteAs far as hobbies, yes - they are supposed to be fun and relaxing. That is why I allow myself to have more than one knitting project going at the same time, and also to start yet another one if I get inspired. I like doing it and want to keep that enthusiasm going without making it a chore.
I don't set time-commitment goals for myself but then, I'm not a numbers person. Whatever the case, I hope you feel better about everything soon!
Step back and relax! We all have those weeks!!!
ReplyDeleteYou have goals...but think of them as a loose guideline!
What it all boils down to is happiness. If being super focused on steps and calories and what it is what makes you happy then do it. If having hobby goals are your joy than continue. But just remember...it’s about being happy! As for the weight...focus on healthy! Strive for a healthy life!!!
Burn out comes in cycles and is normal, that is part of what I am feeling now
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with Mary! Sometimes you just have to take a step back and find the joy in the little things. It's easier said than done but I believe in you.
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